George's Social Work

(Jerry, George & Elaine are coming out of Coffee shop. Geroge notices a blind man trying to cross the street and hurries to help him get across. Meanwhile, Jerry and Elaine are making their observations)

Elaine (looks at George walking with the blind man, turns to Jerry and is a bit serious and puzzled): Alright, what's going on?

Jerry: Oh you didn't know? Since last one week George has been having a meaningful relationship and getting adequate sex too.

Elaine: Oh! we'll come to that, but what does that have to do with this?

Jerry: Remember one time, George had a girlfriend and he couldn't touch her because of Mono?

Elaine: Yes

Jerry: He got totally smart from that, almost split the atom.

Elaine: So?

Jerry: Well, what do people do after they get sick of being smart?

Elaine: Social work?

Jerry: Exactly. Shouldn't take very long to get sick of either.

Elaine: Huh, I wonder if this all means he is a better person than us or something? Nah, I don't think so. I know for a fact, George's never thought he is better than anybody. (Pause) Oh my God, isn't that just another sign of really better people!

Jerry: I really wouldn't know, Elaine.

Giant Leap for George

(Jerry, George & Kramer are in the Coffee shop)


George: You slept with Elaine last night!! Wow, what is this, third time since you both broke up??

Jerry: I believe yes but I will tell you this though, there was no guilt, no remorse, not a whiff of the relationship stink.We've really progressed and matured, just like humanity does in all aspects of social life.

Kramer: You're the pioneer of post break up semi one-night stand protocol

George: I wish I had continued as friends with a couple of'em that I broke up with.

Jerry: Yeah, why didn't you?

George: I guess I still have a long way to go to break up with mutual agreement in the first place, which may be a small step for mankind but definitely a giant leap for the man that's me.   

George's Ego

(Jerry and George are in the Coffee shop, George seems a little off)

Jerry: You know, I had no idea I have this skill. I could almost tell just from your face, it's been 6 months since you've dated anyone

George: I am dying to belong to a club that would have someone like me for a member, dying.

Jerry: The whole dating world is like a huge departmental store with 1000s of clothing items. You pick something based on time you have, mood you're in, others recommendations etc and return it if it tuns out a bad choice the next day.     

George: I'm shouting at them; I'm on sale, 50% off!

Jerry: I guess with people, it's 50% off of ego.

George: Whatever

Drive Thru Rest Rooms

(The gang is taking a vacation after they are out of jail, they are going on a longish road trip. They all have firmly decided not to take any vacations that involve any flying! George's father is not happy, he says; "who takes a vacation just for coming out of jail". Even the gang ponders on the subject of going to vacation after jail but then feel comfortable as Kramer mentions that his friend Bob Sacamano took a vacation after he came out of jail)

Jerry: I am taking this food and gas exit, I really have to go.

George: Food and gas exit??? You gotta be kidding me!

Jerry: Why

George: If I had a dime for every 10 bucks I spent just so I could use a restroom at a gas station or a food place, I'd be an idiot for spending 10 bucks to earn a dime.

Elaine: I agree, those "Restrooms are for Customers only" signs are a real slap in the face

George: Restrooms within the city; I'm your man, I know exactly the places you can go without getting a look. On highways, I am sucker.

Jerry: For a Beverage-heavy nation, there just isn't matching rest room infrastructure

Kramer (sitting in the back with Elaine, eyes closed, opens up his eyes suddenly): That's it! I've got it. Drive Thru Restrooms! That is what this country really needs. You just pull up and swipe your card, door opens up. It looks like 4-lane Drive thru ATM

George: No parking, no asking, no waiting and No Looks!

Jerry: If we have Drive Thrus for ATMs, why not for Rest Rooms, in both cases you're pulling valuables out of your pants. It's a good idea. I think jail time has done wonders for Kramer. It's almost as if he went to College.

Kramer: 50 cents a pop, just swipe your card

Jerry: How about annual pass, George might like that

George:  Actually, there should be a button that says Emergency, if I press that the door should open up immediately, should let you pay on the way out

Jerry: So, what are we looking at, one drive-thru restroom every 40-50miles on freeways?

Kramer: I don't do those kind of details. There are plenty of top notch Business schools in this country churning out people who love to do that kinda math

Jerry: Oh yeah, jail graduates don't do that

Elaine: There will be an iPhone App that gives you the wait times at the nearest drive-thru en route

Jerry: That's a given

Blog's Goal

This blog has a very serious and sincere goal; To serve up bite-sized, sitcom-style humor snacks made out of a really great dough called Seinfeld.